Our doctrine states that once saved, always saved. I sincerely believe that. The Bible says that NOTHING can remove us from His hands once we have accepted Jesus as our savior.
But what if you're not really saved? What if you just went through the motions? What if you don't even remember the prayer? What if you don't remember the incredible change that is inevitable with the rebirth of salvation? What if you were too young to have consciously made that decision?
I vaguely remember the baptism. Pieces of it, more than anything. I remember that I had visited a family friend's church. I remember it was winter. That's it.
I am to go to children's camp for the first time this year. I am going as a counselor. We had a meeting yesterday regarding what to expect, how to respond, and scenarios. "I don't think I'm saved!" was one of those scenarios. I didn't pass the litmus test. Mind you, this is a thought that has coursed through my consciousness for most of my adult life. Sin didn't bother me like it should have. Not that I was a serial murder, but a halo would have only been held aloft by my horns back then. A year ago, I prayed along with the preacher again from the comfort of my pew. I have changed since that point. I am better. I want to be better. I WANT to live for God. I want to help teach kids and others how He loves us. But since I didn't do the public declaration of faith and other symbolic return gestures of thanks to God, am I still saved?
I will get back to you after my session with my favorite preacher/best friend.
10:05 pm after the session
I am an over-thinker. I know this. Tonight was one of those instances. I knew what I needed to do, but I needed the assurance from those smarter than me.
I will be going forward Sunday to tell the world that Jesus saved me and this changed my life.
A weight has been lifted.
